I HATE DIY with a Passion - (BEWARE of toilet mouth syndrome!)

Yes. I really do. I hate, hate, hate DIY with the sort of passion, that is as strong as my equally passionate love for old records. anybody that knows me, knows that is pretty strong.

I dislike putting up shelves, building units and re-directing electrical stuff. I HATE messing about with pipes, and drains and anything else that is likely to (which invariably means WILL) make a bloody horrible mess if I get it ever so slightly wrong. This also usually means that the job entails getting somebody else in to 1 - Sort out the original job, and 2 - repair any damage caused by my initial efforts!

So - It was with some distress, that I was met with the words from Mrs Jayster "I would like to change the front room - I want to get rid of all the old skirting boards and put in new ones."

SHIT! - It looks like an easy job, but I've got a nasty feeling it will be far more difficult to get a decent result. This was partially confirmed by my father in-law, who leant me a mitre saw and said it was, a bit tricky! - And that coming from a very good builder!

The old skirting was built in at the time of the house build in the 1950's, and held in place with huge, square nails - Yes they were an absolute bastard to get out, and insisted on bringing out huge chunks of the wall as well. Good start!

Surprisingly, I didn't find cutting the corners that difficult, and only made a couple of minor mistakes on smaller sections, which I was able to rectify with virtually no wastage - Hurrah!

I ended the first days work by sticking up 2 sections with Grip & Fill and a couple of small nails. The corners were not perfect, but not bad either. Mrs J was surprised that it had taken me so long to stick them in place, but happy when she realised that I had actually cut to shape and size all the other skirting boards

THEN..... Mrs Jayster suggested that while I get on and make the box section that covers the pipework, she would stick the other normal boards in place.

Now. If I thought that getting the skirting boards right was a bit of a bastard, it was nothing compared to the cunty cunt cunt of a job that making the box section was going to be. for one thing it is the longest wall, so my lengths of wood were too long to fit in my designated wood cutting room I also had to contend with cutting holes in exactly the right place to get the radiator pipes through, then cutting the hole in half to fit the pieces together, and similar cut outs for TV ariel and power leads.