A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

The Daily Grind

Well – That was fun…….

I have not written for a while – mainly because I’ve had nothing much to say – No news, nothing new.

Today is different!

Chapter 1 – Jaysters Series of Unfortunate Events

On Wednesday, a fairly normal day suddenly changed into pandemonium – At about 3.30 I was asked to take the works van from our offices to our warehouse, another colleague would follow in a car and bring me back. The round trip should bring us back to the offices by spot on five, provided we didn’t hang about, or get caught in traffic – (believe it or not, the trip went smoothly, and we made it back, as expected at spot on five. Grabbed my bits and bobs, jumped on my bike and started the cycle trip back to my car – Everything is going well. Until that is, I reach my car, only to discover I don’t have any keys. Not too big a problem, although I will be late home, I just have to cycle back up to work, pop in, get my keys, make a quick phone call home to explain that I will be a few minutes late, then back on my bike again – So that is what I did –well, up to a point. The plan was once more changed by the fact that nobody else was left at work – Locked up, shut down, nobody will be back in till tomorrow.

OK, things are now looking a tad bleaker, but there’s still hope! – cycle back to where my car is parked, and visit another work colleague who lives ‘somewhere’ on the estate where my car is parked – (Anybody notice a potential problem in that line?) – I don’t know exactly where he lives, but have a rough idea, and know that he put a new fence up a few months ago – I asked a few people that I saw walking about, to no avail, then spotted a potential house – knocked on the door and it was answered – But not by Mr X! – “Any idea where Mr X lives please?” – I’m in luck, as the man points next door and says “Next-door” – Well, how’s that for a spot of good luck? – Luck would have been better had they been in, but unfortunately I’d missed them by about 5 minutes, and they had just popped into town – SO, I tried the neighbour again, to see if there was any chance of borrowing a phone, I explained the problem to him, he lent me a phone, and I phoned the wife and explained it to her. This is going to cause a problem, and I’m sure that I’m in trouble – OK – She will phone her work, arrange a baby-sitter for the boys and come out to collect me. She doesn’t know the housing estate, so I have to cycle back up to the offices and wait outside for her – She should be here in about 40 minutes? – Unless she goes to work then pick me up after work to teach me not to be such a pea brained, dunderhead. – so I sit down, read a bit, write a bit, listen to a bit of music on my MP3 player, until the battery runs out – Can’t read any more or write, because it’s getting dark – So I sit, then stand, then sit again –(Till my bum and balls go numb), then stand again, and move about, trying to ignore the pins and needles. THEN, things take another bizarre twist, I see my folks car go past – (Odd, because they live 30 miles away in the opposite direction form our house) – so I get up to have a look. Nobody about, perhaps I was mistaken, but no – they come back again…….

“Hello Jerry” – “Hello mum! – what’s going on?” – Well it turns out that Mrs Jayster had also had a series of unfortunate events!

Chapter 2 – Mrs Jaysters Series Of Unfortunate Events

Mrs Jayster has only come to my offices a couple of times, and every time I have been with her, so she’s never had to find them on her own, so she got a tiny bit lost…. That in itself would not have been a huge problem, as she would have been able to ask somebody, and eventually get directions to our estate and find me. No, the main problem was the fact that the car decided, it no longer liked oil or water, and therefore opened up a hole in the engine to let both out all of a sudden. Then it changed it’s mind – (fickle things these engines.). It decided it DID need oil and water after all, so the engine made some unpleasant noises and stopped! – Shame, because the car is brilliant otherwise, excellent bodywork, interior, gearbox etc. It just has a very dead engine! – She hadn’t been able to arrange a baby sitter, so the boys are in the car with her. Stuck at the side of the road, lost and all, as you would expect, tired, bored and getting a little irritated. Fortunatley, a very nice lady stopped to see if they needed any help, and left a nice bag of toffee’s, which did a great job of keeping the two boys happy! – A breakdown man came and looked at the car, got it started, turned it off again and said – Ohh Dear! – then arranged for a recovery truck to come and tow it home.. – (Meanwhle – back in the jungle….)

By this time, my mum, dad and myself, had worked out where Mrs Jayster and the boys were, and had driven to find them – All together at last, all in reasonable humour considering the currently worsening situation…… and believe me it IS worsening!!!!

The breakdown truck is taking a very long time to arrive, especially considering that when arranged it had been noted that it was to assist a lady driving with two small children. This situation would normally be given priority. It transpires that breakdown trucks are named for a reason, and not as I always suspected, because they collect broken down cars, the one that was coming to collect my wife had indeed broken down! – A second truck was arranged and eventually arrived. – the driver must have been in a bit of a rush, as he barely gave me time to take the child seats out of the car, as he was hauling it up on the winch – in fact, I nearly got pulled under the car, and tripped on the edge of the flatbed, in my attempt to remove the second one! – he relented, and gave me a moment or two to actually get it out, so that the children could be safely strapped into the seats in the lorry.

At last, we’re on our way home, my mum and dad followed us the fifteen miles back to our house, to make sure all went well, and to help with the children once we got home – the plan being to give me a lift back to their house, and then another lift into work the next day. – It was at this point that we remembered that there is a spare key for my car, so they gave me a lift back to that instead, and I was able to drive back to my house – eventually arriving back somewhere between 10.30 and 11pm.

Phew – Now we have to work out what to do with the current car situation!