You Are 63% Weird |
 You're so weird, you think you're bordering on normal. Right? But you wig out even the hairiest of estate agents! |
Picked this up from GW – and found I was 60% weird. Tried one of his other tests too . . . But really didn’t like the result. How can I EVER afford to pay that much of a fine – especially given that I’d be spending the rest of my natural life (Plus a fair amount more once I’d passed away)behind bars!
But that’s an aside. Today’s post is ‘
SLIGHTLY HORRIBLE
A work colleague has just come back from a trip to China, and as tradition dictates, brought a few munchable morsels for the rest of us to ‘enjoy - Now I am known as the company dustbin, and am quite happy to chomp my way through any food offerings – This is on the proviso that the offerings are indeed advertised as at least moderately edible. I mean I don’t go eating staples, pencils, CDs or battery chargers that are left in my desk area – but most other things are fair game. There were two varieties brought in from China – One was a packet of TEA biscuits, and although nobody else seems to like them much, I’ve managed to plough my way through quite a few of them, and they do taste like a very pleasant cup of tea – but in biscuit form. All I need now is a digestive flavoured drink to dunk them in. The other thing is a pack of fairly large sesame covered cakes – The packet only contained 4, and although they have been there for the best part of a week, there are still 2 left – (Yes – Of course I’ve eaten one – That was a rather obvious question you just thought wasn’t it?). – I’m very tempted to eat another one, even though the taste is ever so slightly horrible. Not horrible enough to put you off eating it all together, like eating bread with mold on, rotten peanuts, or sour lumpy milk – all of which I find quite unpalatable.
Just a little offputting is the smell that these cakes emit. They look perfectly cooked, lovely light coloured sesame seeds on a golden pastry that looks like the top of a McDonalds Bap, but they smell a little overcooked – (Read that as Burnt…..and then cooked some more.) – However, it’s not a ‘normal’ burnt, more like they have been burnt on a bonfire, rather than in an oven. The smell is not over-powering, but you don’t need to put your nose right up to it to get a whiff, it seems to permeate the surrounding area with a hint of it’s smoky delight.
I’ve got your mouth watering now…..right?
And we haven’t even bitten into it yet. – OK. First bite, and we’re treated to sesame covered pastry, unsweetened, …Now here’s a mystery, the blandness of the pastry, seems to completely over power any flavour the sesame seeds should have, leaving you with little taste, but a texture that fills the mouth with a very claggy, seedy sensation. You also get the first glimpse of the filling, a thick dark substance that looks a bit like processed dates with pine kernels stuck in it… It also looks like other things which may be found littering the woodland floor, but I won’t go into that for fear that some of you may be enjoying a real biscuit with your afternoon tea. Eating this is a most bizarre sensation. You’ve heard of bitter sweet? – Well this is it, theres certainly something sweet in there, sugars or syrups or nectar or something, but there’s also some bitter flavourings, there is a slight hint in both flavour and texture of bonfire ash, and there’s also the merest hint of something you might find on a well matured compost heap – I can’t even start to describe that – Even though I’ve taken several bites and tried ever so hard to describe it to myself. I think the sweetness of it is the only thing that draws it into the category of slightly edible. As for aftertaste – the sweetness disappears, leaving you with a bitter ash flavour. Perhaps that’s what entices you to have another bite, as it’s not quite so bad while it’s still in your mouth.
ONLY 1 LEFT NOW….. I wonder who will eat it?
I think I need a cup of coffee – I’ve also got a slight stomach ache now……Ooops – and wind!
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