Bombfire Night

This weekend – (As anybody in the UK will confirm) was bonfire night – PS, the above title is NOT a miss-spelling. A night when young children are kept awake well into the night by the sound of fireworks. Cats and Dogs are scared into hiding for the next week or so by the same fireworks, and the possibility of earning yourself a Darwin Award increases dramatically!

This year, I came close to earning myself a Darwin – (Actually I can’t claim all the glory. My brother-in-law was an equal partner.) My eldest son is not too keen on loud fireworks, but this year, even the really loud ones didn’t upset him. The only thing that made him cry was when me and Nick lit the fire - Not normally the scariest part of the evening, I know.

Before I start the story though – I would like to make a point for all other potential fire-starters.
Children –
When your parents say DO NOT LIGHT FIRES- Take notice!

Parents –
When your children say DO NOT USE PETROL TO LIGHT THE FIRE – Take notice!

OK – Like I said in a previous post, it had rained all over my heap which would therefore not lend itself easily to burning – I therefore deduced that perhaps a tiny splash of petrol would help things along a little. – By little splash, I guess I actually mean a medium sized cup full. – NOW, I did the sensible thing (If indeed the words Sensible thing can be used in close quarters with the words petrol and fire when used in the same sentence!), by putting the petrol carefully onto the fire quite a while before we were due to light it. I figured that this way most of the explosive fumes would have gone??????? - BUT, then it rained a bit more, so as we went up to put dry paper under the heap, it was suggested and agreed by both of us, that a little more petrol couldn’t hurt! – So NOW, I put on a liberal amount of petrol – Probably somewhere in the region of 2-3 litres – (1/2 gallon.) I though it best not to hang around holding an open can of petrol, during the lighting phase, so I walked back toward the shed to put it away. And noticed Nick lighting a big piece of card and got ready to throw it into the heap……

I must have been a good 12 feet away – maybe more, Nick was just over arms length away – (Well, you can’t flick a piece of burning card very far when it’s raining can you?….

The children, and other parents were watching from our living room, staying in the warm and dry until the fire was going – they were looking out into the pitch black garden, then saw it illuminated……..Instantly.
The resultant explosion sent a shockwave back down the garden and almost took out all the windows in the back of our house – (That’s what scared the kids. Well, that and the fact that they could see me and Nick illuminated by a pretty enormous fireball, which thankfully rolled itself skyward rather than spreading out across the garden.) Aparently it sounded louder from inside, and all the glass bowed inwards as the shock wave hit. The whole heap lifted briefly, then settled back to ground with a cacophony of creaks, cracks and rustles. Very little fire remained, as it had for the most part blown itself out.

The rest of the evening went without incident – (Unless you count the roman candle that fell over and fired a couple of mini fireball back toward us). We had some pretty impresive fireworks, and Mrs Jayster put on a jolly fine feast.

I think next year we’ll either: - Go to an organized event OR send the children out to light the fire and fireworks, as they are likely to be more sensible than us so called ‘Adults’!